The Invasion of the Pasta People

May 06

The Invasion of the Pasta People

 When Did Everything Change? Some say it was the Vietnam War, when we stopped believing a single word our government said,* including “and” and “the.” Maybe it was when we started calling love affairs “relationships,” thereby sanitizing the romance right out of our sex lives. Or was it the rise of political correctness, when...

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A Chocolate Lover’s List To Live By

Apr 09

A Chocolate Lover’s List To Live By

Ain’t email grand?  The words of wisdom that appeared in my inbox today were written by Regina Brett, a columnist for the Cleveland Plain Dealer who’s a mere 90 years old. (The italics below are mine.)  If you’re in a hurry, go directly to #10. It sums it all up.   1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s good. Or as that great...

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The Academy Awards Were . . . Nice

Mar 04

The Academy Awards Were . . . Nice

What can you say about the  Academy Awards Show this year? It was nice. Ellen was nice. Except for the semi-snarky bit pretending that Lisa Minnelli (in the flesh) was actually the best female impersonator ever. Lisa did not look amused. The dresses were tasteful, mostly pastel or bright, and that was . . . nice. Although I do feel the need to point out that if...

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Gentlemen’s Guide To Love & Murder. . .

Feb 19

Gentlemen’s Guide To Love & Murder. . .

. . . Meets The  Book of Mormon  Is there room for a hit show on Broadway that doesn’t involve jokes about fucking babies as a cure for AIDS? Thank the lord there is! It’s The Gentleman’s Guide To Love And Murder and I’d swear on the actual Book of Mormon itself that it’s as funny as its English cousin, the great classic...

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The Heart-Shaped Meatloaf Is Back!

Feb 06

The Heart-Shaped Meatloaf Is Back!

    As readers of   I Can’t Believe I’m Not Bitter   know by now . . . Valentine’s Day Is Tricky. Sure, a guy can get something sweet for her. A gal can get something “hot” for him.  Something cute for the kids, anyone?     But what if you don’t have a her,  a him or a them? What if you...

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New Year’s Irresolutions

Jan 14

New Year’s Irresolutions

 Well, folks, it’s that time of year again. When you promise yourself you’ll do all those things that will allow you to become a better person and make the world safe for democracy. Actually, it’s 14 days past that time of year, which leads me to: Never Put Off Tomorrow What You Can Put Off Today Resolution #1: I will not procrastinate any...

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The Perfect Christmas Tree For You

Dec 18

The Perfect Christmas Tree For You

If you fell for the title, you’ve come to the wrong place. You want the Martha Stewart Christmas web site. But wait! Don’t leave, because, through the haphazard magic of the Internet, you’ve stumbled on a way to gain wisdom, peace of mind, and, possibly, a mild hangover. Yes, Virginia, there is a perfect Christmas tree. And yet, there isn’t....

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Thanksgiving Story

Nov 27

Thanksgiving Story

Traditions are important, don’t you think? Uncle Nunzio does. And who are we to defy Uncle Nunzio, a rhetorical question if I ever heard one. And so, on this special day, we’re going to tell our traditional Thanksgiving Story, as we do every year. . . Scene: A large hospital in the metropolitan area.A harried looking woman paces back and forth in front...

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