Love in the Time of Covid

Apr 30

 

I used to think about Covid the way Woody Allen did about death: I thought they’d make an exception in my case.

Well, I don’t have any medical data on the Woodman, but I know what happened to me: No exception was made. I got Covid.

Yes, folks, I was visited by the whole megillah: sore throat, runny nose, headache, and oh, you know. My brother called on Facetime and was Shocked! Shocked! to see that I looked so sick. No shit, Sherlock, this Covid, although it only lasted 2 days,  is no picnic. But in the tradition of never succumbing to bitterness, no matter how onerous the provocation, I must refer you to that old saying, it’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good.

The proof is in this blog. Many of you (well, 2) have asked why the hell I stopped writing, and I couldn’t think of a good reason— or imagine what would get me to take up my harmless, although I hope not charmless, travels in the blogosphere again.

Covid made me do it. Although it took its sweet time, being the unpredictable critter that it is.

I am finally going to tell you all about my very own unique Covid story which began, with exquisite timing, on Christmas Eve, when I had planned a cozy little dinner for two, including a mini-version of the antipasto I was once famous for (I am not known among the cognescenti as Auntie Pasta for nothing), fancy glasses of Prosecco by the fireplace, and the opening of the presents.

We did, at least, open the presents. My “significant other” (a term I hate almost as much as “relationship” but we’re kinda past the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, so I’ll just call him John because that’s his name) knew what he was getting, having chosen it himself. But I had wrapped it anyway, and he dutifully unwrapped it and marveled at my exquisite taste (you really can’t go wrong with Brooks Brothers).

For my gift, I had suggested something we both could enjoy from that other bastion of exquisite taste, Victoria’s Secret, and lo and behold there it was, a little lacy black number that I could no more imagine wearing in my current state than a suit of armor. Although, in fact, the granny nightgown I had dug up for the occasion would afford similar protection from anyone who had visions of amorous advances dancing in their heads. Not that anyone had. John tested positive too, although he was pretty much asymptomatic, and trundled home to New Jersey to isolate.

So much for romance. So much for Christmas Eve dinner. So much for Christmas, which I spent alone, sneezing and wheezing and coughing, watching harmless holiday movies and wearing my most atrocious granny nightgown.

For your visual edification, here’s what it looks like when fantasy meets reality.

Helpful hint: whenever possible, go for fantasy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you don’t get Covid, but if you do, there is something you should know. You may lose your sense of taste, and this is just as well, since you will not feel like eating. Quite possibly a blessing in disguise, considering the amount of eggnog  you consumed during the holidays and all that ice cream when you were isolating for Covid. 

I’m told that you also can lose your sense of smell, but this did not happen to me. I know this for a fact because one of my (apparently unique) symptoms was occasional bursts of silent but deadly gas. Okay, so they weren’t so silent. But deadly? Oh yes. Ergo, it was painfully obvious to me that my sense of smell was alive and well and living in my bedroom.

See! I told you that it’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good.

Please forgive me for that, but it’s been a rough couple of years, and I may be experiencing that fog we’ve been hearing about.

It’s good to be back, alive and blogging. But be careful, folks, your encounter with Covid could be a lot less laughable than mine.


36 comments

  1. Robert Sholiton /

    Delightful.

  2. Clare Rakshys /

    Thanks for the laughs. I needed that.

    • Pat /

      I live to make you laugh.
      Thanks for the comment, Clare!

  3. Lou Venezia /

    You are a wonderful storyteller – even better than Garrison Keillor!
    Thanks for returning to your blog 🙂

  4. Pat /

    Even better than Garrison Keillor! You better not tell him that: I hear he can get quite cranky.
    But I appreciate your comment, and coming from you, it’s quite a compliment.
    I hear you can get quite cranky too…

  5. Greg /

    Thanks, Pat. I am glad you have made your way past Covid. Your story is not unusual I’m afraid. I hope you have a healthy, Covid-free spring.

    • Pat /

      Not unusual at all, and luckily not as bad as it could have been. And I did get through it.

      • Sara coe /

        So glad you’re back creating your wonderful stories, and that you are better. I feel that creating art is the best medicine for the stress and anxiety of these crazy times! Looking forward to seeing you as we venture across the country.

        • Pat /

          Yep. Creating art (or whatever it is that I create) is balm for the soul. Especially in these balmy times.

  6. Caroline /

    So sorry U went thru this!! We fortunately did not get it. Still taking precautions…avoiding crowds (except for indoor tennis & several dance performances). Will continue testing as I play tennis in CP now & make to insure safety of team mates. You look GORGEOUS in your floral caftan!!Stay safe.

    • Pat /

      It wasn’t really that bad because I had all the vaxes that heaven (and CVS) would allow. And yes, I’m being careful about crowds, my exception being eating at restaurants. During the early days of Covid I went through my cooking repertoire and got really tired of eating in. So I get that table in the corner and hope for the best, having been boosted yet again.

  7. Colleen /

    So nice to have you back in your not so tasteless state!

  8. Nancy Lombardi /

    hi Pat! Glad you’re back to blogging even if it was through this unfortunate circumstance. I miss your stories in my in-box!

  9. Pat /

    I miss posting them! But Covid, not to mention Life, has a way of getting in the way of things. I’m glad you’re glad I’m back.

  10. michelle harris /

    Glad to see you’ve taken up your pen again. You always brighten my day—especially needed it today with every bit of other news predicting increasingly horrible things for our country.

    • Pat /

      Amen to that! I wish I could make all the bitterness we are experiencing right now go away, but all I can do is all I can do. Glad I made you smile.

  11. Carole /

    So pleased your blog is back!

    Glad your Covid came and went.

    • Pat /

      Thanks, Carole.
      I’m grateful for the vaccine and the fact that the virus did indeed come and go.

  12. Ruth Lapin /

    Glad you’re better.

  13. Rob /

    Glad you are back to blogging. I was thinking my email was broken and I was getting bitter.

  14. Pat /

    Please, Rob, stay as sweet as you are. .

  15. SO glad you’re back…and that romance is still in the (ach-ooo!) air!

    • Pat /

      Romance wasn’t the only thing in the air that weekend, but we survived. And you?

  16. John /

    Glad you survived with sense of humor intact.
    I’m just worried that the old saying about an ‘ill wind’ will bring that image to mind.

    • Pat /

      Sense of humor is the last to go.
      And just don’t use that old saying!

  17. Lorraine /

    You’re funnier then ever. Glad you got back on the horse.

    • Pat /

      Horse? There was a horse? I don’t remember a horse! Was he wearing a nightgown?
      Oh well, glad you enjoyed the post!

  18. Yay, good to read you again, Pat!
    Lucky me, I got Covid in late February of 2020 following a trip to AZ and Vegas. Since Covid was supposed to be only in Seattle at the time, my doctor didn’t believe me, and the hospital had no diagnostic tools. In mid March, we went to a concert at Carnegie Hall, and I couldn’t walk 5 blocks to the venue. We had to take a cab the last 3. Yikes.
    So glad your bout was quick and you’re back to yourself again.

    • Pat /

      Hi, Elf
      It’s good to be back. Sorry about your experience——I hope you don’t have residual effects.
      The only good thing is that when I do something flaky I blame it on the Covid Fog.
      Strange that I’ve had it for years, before anyone knew about the virus. Ahead of my time, I guess.

  19. Steve /

    Well, now there are THREE people who wondered why you stopped blogging. Sorry you got sick and very glad you’re back in the game.

    • Pat /

      Three people! Soon we’ll have enough to form a fan club.
      Thanks for the nice words.

  20. Hey Cuz-I love it! Your Woody quote-“I thought they’d make an exception…” is a brilliant choice. I think I told you that I gave him a ride when I was a cabbie. Keep writing!

    • Pat /

      Did he give you a tip: Such as, “Sorry, kid, but they won’t make an exception.”

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