The Academy Awards Were . . . Nice

Mar 04

The Academy Awards Were . . . Nice

What can you say about the  Academy Awards Show this year? It was nice. Ellen was nice. Except for the semi-snarky bit pretending that Lisa Minnelli (in the flesh) was actually the best female impersonator ever. Lisa did not look amused. The dresses were tasteful, mostly pastel or bright, and that was . . . nice. Although I do feel the need to point out that if...

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How Do I Look?

Mar 11

How Do I Look?

A man should never comment on the good looks of another woman when he’s with you. You know that, right. And you’ve drummed it into his dear little head. If not, do so immediately. Use a large polo mallet if necessary. But did you know that it’s also not a good idea for women to talk too much about the appearance of other women? I learned this on...

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Funny Signs . . . Of The Times

Mar 22

Funny Signs . . .      Of The Times

I need to talk to you about grammar You know, like spelling and apostrophes and stuff. When you send me an email that’s a grammatical disaster, do I get upset? Hell, no. You’re too busy to think about such annoying details. I get it.   But if you were paying for a sign to advertise your business, even if you had sold 99 billion and counting, would you...

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Hi, How’re You Doing?

Mar 16

Hi, How’re You Doing?

You want the short answer?  Or the truth? Perhaps because brevity is the soul of wit, or more likely, because we are conditioned from birth by smiley faces, we usually say: “Fine!” If we’re polite we add, “Thanks, and you?” If we were to be honest . . . well, that’s another matter entirely. Take yesterday morning in the...

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Can Daylight Savings Time Cure The Blahs?

Mar 07

Can Daylight Savings Time Cure The Blahs?

Let There Be Light! Seems like everyone I know has a bad case of the blahs this winter, even though here in the East it hasn’t been much of a winter. If you had to give it a grade, it would be a D-. I mean, a few measly flakes of snow, and hardly any days below freezing. You call this a winter in  New York City? Sounds good, actually though, doesn’t...

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I Am A Closet Case: A True Story

Mar 29

I Am A Closet Case: A True Story

  Multiple Choice: You should never peek into someone else’s closet because: A) Your mother told you not to be nosy.B) The person may still be in there.C) It will give you ideas.D) All of the above. The correct answer is: D. But mostly, C. No, it’s not nice to poke around people’s private places, even if it’s not anatomically speaking, and...

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