ARREST THAT WOMAN!

May 31

ARREST THAT WOMAN!

Picture this: Yours truly going mano a mano with two armed security guards in the Emergency Room at New York Hospital. Here’s how it went down: My husband, who, unlike me, is pretty stoic about pain, was in serious pain. We managed to get to the Emergency Room, and harder still, get admitted inside, where he was put on a gurney in a hallway and pretty...

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LAW & ORDER: Lost & Found Unit

May 23

LAW & ORDER: Lost & Found Unit

Detectives of Law & Order, listen up! I need to hire you, ASAP, to search my apartment. Not for clues or incriminating evidence, although that depends on how you define “incriminating,”but to find all the things Missing In Inaction (MII) that I will never see again—unless you help. Think about it, folks. On L&O, they find everything! When they...

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Woody Allen and the Standing Ovation

May 17

Woody Allen and the Standing Ovation

“80% of success is just showing up.”  — Woody Allen Agreed. But should we give our highest  praise for just showing up? Shouldn’t we save that for the other 20%: showing up with something truly outstanding? Take Broadway. Please. A pet peeve of mine and many another cranky critic is the standing ovation, which every show seems to get,...

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Crosstown To Hell

May 10

Crosstown To Hell

And now, the eagerly-anticipated award for “The Slowest Bus In the Universe” (drum roll please) goes to . . . The 23rd Street Crosstown in Manhattan!!!! Accepting this award for the (Sic) Transit Authority is Pat Fortunato, your friendly neighborhood blogger and frequent rider on this I-could- walk-faster-but-who’s got-the-energy mode of so-called...

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I Look Good In Orange

May 03

I Look Good In Orange

Admit it. There’s something illegal you really, really want to do. You don’t do it because you’d probably go to jail, your mother told you it was wrong, you’d probably go to jail, it would be immoral, you’d probably go to jail, it would be bad for your karma, and you’d probably go to jail. You do the crime, you do the time. And...

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