The Bike Bitch

Apr 15

The Bike Bitch

Open Letter to  Bill de Blasio Dear Mr. Mayor: I have a quick and easy way to make you a popular mayor— or at least a hero to citizens afraid for their lives: Make me the Official Commissioner Of Bicycle Safety Enforcement,      AKA The Bike Bitch. You see, your honor, I live on East 22nd Street, and I’m mad as hell about cyclists speeding, going the wrong way, and...

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Fully Committed

Apr 24

Fully Committed

Hi, Sara: As Reservations Clerk in Chief (How did I get this friggin’ job?), “One ringy dingy” I am here to report that we will be back from Ocean Grove Sunday afternoon after all, so we could meet you for an early dinner. How early do you want to make it? Five? Six? I checked with Scarlatto, which is in the theatre district (where you’ll be) and...

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You Go, Guys!

Apr 18

You Go, Guys!

I want a wedding. Not one of my own, silly. Been there (Finally!). Done that (Amen). What I want is to be invited to a gay wedding. Soon. Adam and Steve: Are you listening? I’m not kidding about this. I have fantasies about gay weddings, especially between two guys.  I’m thinking really tasteful with all the perfect touches, like Charlotte’s in Sex and the...

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Gotham Girl Meets GOSSIP GIRL

Apr 10

Gotham Girl Meets GOSSIP GIRL

Working by day as a mild-mannered blogger for I Can’t Believe I’m Not Bitter, Pat Fortunato has been known to put on a trench-coat and dark glasses and turn into Gotham Girl, gathering info for pieces like this, which appeared in part in Woman Around Town: Neither rain, nor sleet nor gloom of public transportation can keep Gotham Girl from her appointed rounds ...

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Define “Casual”

Apr 08

Define “Casual”

Once upon a time, when you went to a party, you “dressed up” in the outfit of the moment, complete with matching shoes, purse, and whatever jewelry went with The Look. There was the A-Line, The Mini, the Little Nothing (AKA the Shift), long full skirts, long tight skirts, short tight skirts, pumps, mules (now called slides, and for good reason), platform...

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My Night At The Pussy Cat Lounge

Apr 03

My Night At The Pussy Cat Lounge

The story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect . . .whoever. So. How do you know that the new man you’re dating is a stand-up guy? You could meet his mother, which I did. You could talk to his kids, who were very welcoming, and obviously liked their Dad. You could Google him, but this was in the Dark Ages, before google was a...

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